Fangirl Free Zone
Stupid American Idol Fangirl of the Week – The Daughtry Edition
This one’s for you Nevada.
Happy Christmas.
Enjoy.
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about 8 months ago
These come from the poser’s sales thread at the infamous “scary boards,” and we start by looking back, to the week before the cretin’s sophomoric album was released. It starts innocently enough, but before long…
…the delusions set in.
Immortal? Seriously?
You might think that such an album would stand on its own merits, but fangirls aren’t willing to stand idly by:
So yes, the power-buying continues beyond the first crappy album.
SoundScan numbers haven’t shown up for last week, but here are the totals for the week ending 12-07-09:
68 daughtry leave this town 17117 -5 17976 783583
99 HOUSTON*WHITNEY I LOOK TO YOU 12033 -34 18143 830669
Eh, somehow I doubt that.
*cough*
If anyone thinks that the competition ever ends…
So the excitement builds…
about 8 months ago
Continuing on at the scary boards, the fangirls make a few breathless predictions:
Clearly some fangirls are more delusional than others…
Then Hits Daily Double makes its prediction:
July 15, 2009 Sony Music will continue to rule the HITS Album chart next week, but not with Michael Jackson. After three straight weeks of Jackomania, yet another American Idol, this one named Daughtry, should be #1 on next week’s HITS Top 50 with Leave This Town, his sophomore 19/RCA/RMG album, which will bow in the 240-260k range.
Which of course leads to further fangirl fantasies:
Pop quiz: What are the two favorite words of the fangirls at the scary boards? Answer: awesome & amazing.
Meanwhile, the Idol competition continues as well…
One of the alpha fangirls back in 2006 returns to the scene of the crime:
Yeah, too bad neither of them can sell out an arena these days.
about 8 months ago
Moving along, we find what passes for “research” at the scary boards:
Oh really? Then how do you explain this:
Week 01: 12-01-09 1 BOYLE*SUSAN I DREAMED A DREAM 700779 999 632 699205
Week 02: 12-08-09 1 BOYLE*SUSAN I DREAMED A DREAM 527345 -25 700779 1224196
Week 03: 12-15-09 1 BOYLE*SUSAN I DREAMED A DREAM 581966 [] 527345 1803375
How very exciting.
about 8 months ago
Day 1 of reporting:
Day 2 of reporting:
Nothing quite like an “exited” fangirl, is there?
about 8 months ago
The sad little celebration continues among the handful of fangirls who remain at the scary boards:
Whatever.
And what do you know…the alpha fangirl returns…
The other fangirls try to engage her…
But Squishy disappears as quickly as she came.
about 8 months ago
Nevertheless, another rather pathetic celebration ensues:
Ah, but it will be a rather short ride, fangirl. Just wait and see.
While some fangirls reminisce…
Others admit to having moved along…
Except, of course, that the smug slug’s debut album is not 5x platinum. Only fools and fangirls believe that 19-orchestrated myth.
And the second week sales estimates begin to come in…
Only in your dreams, fangirl, only in your dreams.
I suppose that depends on how you define “good sales weeks.”
And the Idol competition continues…
Et tu Canada?
Keep telling yourself that, fangirl…
And yet it gets even better for some of us…
Clearly, this fangirl has lost touch with reality. Stadiums? Really? When he can’t sell out an arena? And speaking of arenas…
Except, of course, they turned out not to be “so big” after all. But back to sales…
Such a tiresome lot.
about 8 months ago
I’m going to move things along now, skipping ahead a few weeks:
Packed arenas, right. That aside, the summer club tour was NOT sold out, which should have told them something about what was to come. Selling only 6,765 tickets for the 23,500-capacity Greensboro Coliseum in the wanker’s “home town” is beyond pathetic.
Eh, I think they missed the onramp.
I was looking forward to that myself, albeit (!) for very different reasons.
Don’t hold your breath, fangirl.
about 8 months ago
This is kind of fun:
Pretty vague prediction there, fangirl.
This is a persistent fangirl fantasy, that touring invariably leads to an increase in album sales:
Well, that and the “next single” myth:
SoundScan numbers for the week after Black Friday: 62 daughtry leave this town 17976 57 11429 766500
Oops.
I doubt it.
Ah, but what makes you think that sales would go up at this point? Surely you’re all done power-buying?
I guess not.
Oh right, right. The arena tour starts in October, and then there’s that second single waiting in the wings…
Awww, isn’t that cute! The fangirl actually thinks the poser’s sales are going to go up!
In other words, as they watched the bald mutant’s sales decrease every week, the fangirls clung to their delusions as tightly as a child clings to a teddy bear on a stormy night…
about 8 months ago
Where’s Lassie?
His success depended so much on her.
I might have to shed a tear………then again maybe not.
about 8 months ago
Squishy is Lassie.
I knew Squishy at the scary boards long before I had ever heard of Lassie, but the first time I came across Lassie at the blob, I knew who it was.
about 8 months ago
So did I, but Lassie was a great name for her ‘dog with a bone’.
She doesn’t seem as vocal as she once was, maybe she needs a new set of teeth?

about 8 months ago
Back to the scary boards and the diehard fangirls with their increasingly desperate mantras:
I have absolutely no idea what she’s looking at.
An increase? Hardly.
No hurry, fangirl, you have MONTHS to go.
Oh goody, some new pipe dream to talk about.
Getting a little ahead of yourself there, Kelly fangirl.
A little anxiety is going around…
Right, because when they do, album sales will go up. I remember now.
And if the single doesn’t cut it, there’s always the tour…
Cue Mel Brooks, this is High Anxiety!
Thanks for the warning.
These fangirls are like a broken record, eh?
Is there an echo in here?
For the record, the wanker’s “arena tour” started on October 19th at the Kansas Expocentre, Landon Arena, in Topeka.
Stay tuned!
about 8 months ago
Moving along to the premiere of the music video for the noxious gnome’s second single, Life After You….
And that’s pretty much all there was to that. Gnats have longer attention spans. Although perhaps they were distracted by watching their Idol’s sophomoric album drop out of HDD’s Top 50 chart in only its 13th week of release…hmm, wonder if they heard me celebrating?
While sales continue to slide…
The sales-boosting arena tour began on October 19th.
I detected no hoopla, however. Perhaps hoopla is in the eye of the beholder?
Egads, you mean his sales continued to slide? Must be time for another distraction…
I know the answer! 54 daughtry leave this town 9770 -10 10856 707453
And the week after: 60 daughtry leave this town 8536 -13 9770 715970
Would you look at that! These sales cover the first two weeks of the “anena tour,” and yet…
Oh look, the second single has been released!
And there are fan-voted awards to consider…
Finally, the bald mutant performs on the CMAs on November 11th.
The 43rd annual CMA Awards dominated the night for ABC leading it to victory in all the major advertising demographics averaging a 5.2/14 (rating/share) with adults 18-49 and 16.85 million viewers.
16.85 million viewers, eh? I wonder what percentage of them will rush out and buy the arrogant poser’s sophomoric album?
Wait a minute…16.85 million viewers and only a few thousand bothered to buy the toxic sludge that little d™ calls music?
I don’t know, that’s a pretty anemic sales increase, but life gives you lemons, I suppose you have no choice but to pucker up…
about 8 months ago
Okay, so anyway, time passes. The “arena tour” continues, and as expected, the faux rawker can’t fill the seats. Ticket prices are slashed, but even at bargain basement levels, the majority go unsold. Even with the “pyro” and other rock embellishments, the fourth place loser isn’t much of a draw beyond his initial Idol fanbase.
There is some good news for the fangirls, however…the combination of what was almost certainly a mewling performance at the AMAs, Black Friday, and holiday sales (fangirls buying Xmas gifts) inflate his sales somewhat.
But expectations clearly have been lowered…
Although a few fangirls cling to their fantasies:
And talk of platinum returns…
Cute isn’t the word I’d use.
Regardless, we’ve got two relatively strong weeks of sales left but something tells me there will be no Xmas miracle for the few remaining fangirls at the scary boards and when the January sales freeze sets in, they’ll have very little to celebrate.
about 8 months ago
The last date on the smug slug’s “arena tour” is tonight, December 20th, at Roberts Stadium in Evansville, Indiana.
Here are the cumulative stats for the venues that have reported so far:
For 20 shows, October 19, 2009 thru November 20, 2009
Actual capacity = 221,998
Reported capacity = 115,251
Tickets sold = 92,136
Actual percentage sold (averaged) = 41.5%
Reported percentage sold (averaged) = 79.9%