Here we go, I hope I get over my malaise that developed during the last season of the American version of this show.

And I think I have. The judges tonight are Tre, Luther (useless man, so very useless), Jean-Marc and Blake. Thank god for Blake.

But Leah is still here. So I only dreamed she fell into a deep pit leading to the earth’s core with hot lava and nasty Leah eating beasties…

OK, let’s begin…

Tap dancer Everret dances with Tara Jean, a contemporary girl. And they get to do the Jive. The song choice is Iggy Pop’s Lust for Life. Costumes and styling suggest skanky and naughty. “Down and dirty” were the words the performers used. Everret wore a wallet chain, so distracting, we hates wallet chains we do. It was fine, not stellar, memorable for me mostly because of the music.

The judges love their personality, and the performance, damn but the judges love everything tonight. They are starting off with lots of praise.

Vincent (go figure, another Vincent) who does ballroom dances with contemporary Amy. Can we say Samba? They messed up their lift, but they were solid. OK, what is it with me and guys named Vincent? I think I will like this guy, I did in the audition rounds. As mentioned, they messed up their lift, but they recovered well.

Holy Mother of Pearl, Vincent is only 20 years old? Such poise and maturity, damn, I cannot lust after him, he is way too young. The judges loved them despite the fuck up. More lovefest. Huh, it’s going to be like that tonight is it? OK, I may ignore judge comments tonight, unless something clever is said, or sharks attack them.

Oh, Nico makes an appearance, and he assists Stacey for the contemporary routine coming up. Also, Nico is an appropriate age to lust after. He is a fine looking specimen. Yes he is (sigh, remember the gravity defying jeans, sigh again).

Cutey pie Hip Hopper Cody (guaranteed to get the tweenie vote) dances with Melanie M. Well, they get the contemporary, with Nico helping. Melanie was another one I liked in the auditions. Hopefully this will continue.

What I hope won’t continue is the choice of Celine Dion for the music. Please, choreographers, have some sympathy for my poor nerves.

Colour me surprised, Cody didn’t suck, I thought he would, but he didn’t. He has maybe taken other dance lessons. He held his own. She is quite good, oh dear I am starting to develop favourites. Dang. I’m not supposed to do that.

Emanuel and Last Year Vincent’s Girlfriend, Kim dance together. Poor girl. Well, one plus is Idiot Boy has gotten rid of the stupid hair. We still hates him we does my precious. Some one on another board (was it TWOP? I don’t remember) said he must have had some work done to his face. He does kind of look grotesque that way. And they get Hip Hop, Kim’s specialty.

Have I ever mentioned that Hip Hop is not my favourite? No? Well, most of the time I feel we get watered down emasculated Hip Hop on these shows. I still find it so, though, Kim did well, she should have. This is a BIAS ALERT, I dislike Emanuel, so when I find him clumsy and awkward looking, it might just be me, take it with a grain of salt. They danced to MC Hammer and there was at least no stupid freaking story about pregnancy, or broken romance or eating pizza, no this routine was mostly just dancing. Towards the end, it did kind of bore me.

He danced it kind of prissy, she was more butch than he was.

Well the judges continue on with the lovefest, except for Blake. I agree with Blake, it started well-ish, then went downhill for me too.

Corynne (ballet dancing ringet goalie) dances with Anthony (ballroom dancer). They will be dancing the Viennese waltz. FUCK THEY ARE DANCING TO A DAVID COOK SONG!!!!! Can’t think straight again. First Celine, then this! Damn. And I have been told it is the lame ass coronation song, no wonder it was so hideous.

OK, song aside, how was it? It was sweet, it was a waltz. They floated, it was romantic, nothing seemed awkward or forced. I liked it while I watched it, but I forget it almost immediately.

Blake said “It was nice” in that way you know he is being condescending and not really liking it. It didn’t do much for him. All the other judges did. Lovefest, you know, I think I already mentioned this.

Hmmm, my mind is not yet imaging seals yet, but if the judges keep up this inane, “We loved it we did” chatter, I might have to start…

Danny (he does contemporary) and Natalie (she does Krump). They will dance Hip Hop. OK, not the watered down shit, no stories, it is just dancing, hard hitting. I thought Danny kept up with Natalie OK. Not bad.

I didn’t hate that. Yes, this is faint praise, but, come on, it is Hip Hop, I am funny that way. I feel they let it get by with less good choreography most of the time. Therefore it doesn’t often wow me. So this wasn’t bad.

Jayme Rae (contemporary I think) and Daniel (Hip Hop) dance an Afro Jazz routine. Nice choreography Sean Cheeseman. Very good, and performed very well.

This time the judge lovefest is warranted.

Nicholas (a B Boy) and Jenna Lynn. Disco. Hate disco. And this is the first dance of the night that kind of sucks for me. Really, I’m not sure what to say.

So I won’t say anything, except, it was another lovefest. The judges are on crack or something (visions of seals run through my head). Someone must have drugged their suppers tonight.

Tatiana and Austin. They dance. I didn’t care for these two in auditions. They do this African Martial Arts dance, Cappoeria, however it is spelled.

This one is too disjointed and not dancy enough for me. It is more trick oriented.

The judges? Love love love. Criticism? We don’t need no stinking criticism, do we? I guess it is only the first week and the critical claws will come out later.

Taylor (contemporary) and Melanie B (Latin and Ballroom). They will dance the tango. Not bad, not great, not bad. Melanie kicked Taylor in the mouth, she drew blood. Ouch.

Same as the show tonight, not bad, not great, not bad though.

OK, judges, grow some balls and give some useful comments.

So far there are no real favourites for me yet. I will see. And we are being promised a Michael Jackson tribute in the results show, hmmmmm.

kimkac didn’t mind tonight’s show, she just wants more…greedy, eh?