Hey, you ever wonder what good are they? Well here you go…

 1. Targets for spitting practice.

 2. Doormats.

 3. Doorstops (they are about as dumb as a doorstop).

 4. Ballast.

 5. Cat scratching posts.

 6. Skeet shot.

 7. Filling potholes in lieu of asphalt.

 8. Boat anchors.

 9. Subject matter for photo chops (no wait, let me qualify that, GREAT subject matter).

10. Great flotation devices (due to the quantity of hot air they exude).

11. Good for Salem witch burning reenactments.

12. Good to feed to hungry polar bears (though they might cause indigestion, poor polar bears).

13. Toilet plungers (hold them by the feet, those big mouths need to be good for something).

14. Useful in lab experiments (let’s see what really happens to undepleted uranium).

15. Chum.

16. They make Joe the Plumber look smart.

 

Hey there certainly are more, tell us your favourite useful use for useless fangirls!