HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! People are alternately fun, funny, bitchy, annoying, nice, whiny, thoughtful and jerky. You get it all here. What a fun episode!

Recapping this sucker is going to prove to be challenging I think. Unlike other shows where they show one contestant and then move to the next, here you are constantly switching from one person to another and then back and then to someone completely different. Well, I will not be writing, and then they did this and then so and so did it and then they switched to the other team that was far behind. That would be BORING! So here continues the recap in kimkac flavour, more impressions surrounding the framework of the tasks.

Another issue for me tonight is that I am at someone else’s home and have no clue how to tape things and I also have to go into a completely different room from where the computer is to watch it. So I am recapping from handwritten notes. You think my spelling and grammar sucks? You should try reading my handwriting, I can’t read it sometimes. I was also in a rush. So I may make a mistake or two about names etc. when I remembered to write them down (didn’t happen often, I’ll tell you that right now, a lot of destinations will be called some place in Brazil I think).

Golly gosh, now where to start? Well they take off in taxis in Salvadore Brazil (also known as the “Capital of Joy,” hehe, I’ll bet the Hippy Beekeepers don’t think so), to go to the airport where they will catch a plane to a place called Fortaleza (I remember this one because it is repeated many times and there is a graphic map showing the route).

Alrighty, some funny taxi stuff.

1. The Newly Dating Idiot Annoying Asses Couple do not disappoint. They seem to be made for each other. Aside from being an ass, Terence is an arrogant dick. At one point he hits his head on the taxi: “See I’m bleeding.” Sarah cannot see it, nor could I, and then he bellyaches and demands that she clean it. Jerk.

2. The Geeks interview segment says that the good thing about being part of a non-couple is “I don’t got to live with him.” I think that is how he said it.

3. Cheating Husband and Annoying Bitch Wife, are going to see if this will make or break their relationship. Oh please! At one point she asks the cab driver if he has a cell phone, a “telephono” she says. Yes add an “o” sound at the end of the word and it will become Portuguese (or Spanish in their minds, because people don’t seem to realize that in Brazil THEY SPEAK FUCKING PORTUGUESE!).

4. In my notes I wrote that the Sporty Sibling sister is a control freak. Can’t remember what that is in relation to, next…

5. Mom and Son are kind of sweet, they seem nice.

Then we come to the airport and Tina the Cheated On Bitch Wife moves heaven and earth and personally gets a plane big enough for all the contestants to fly on to Fortaleza. Oh please! What a cow (I actually want to use the other “c” word rhyming with “bunt” but I’m too polite, stop laughing!). She seems to think that her whinging and whining made the airport staff change the flight from a small one to a big one. Ego, eh? And she lets every single team personally know she is the one who got the airport staff to change their minds. Fuckity fuck, she is a real piece of work. Needless to say not everyone loves her at this moment. The Other Piece of Work Terence of the Asses Couple expresses his disbelief and there are some words exchanged, but in the end everyone forgives and everyone is one big happy family (I’m sure everyone just said to their partners “Just shut up and let the annoying cu…uh cow believe in her awesomeness”Wink.

There is a cute moment when Asshole Terence and Asshole Sarah complain about the Sporty Siblings and the Cheater/Cheated On couple have formed an alliance, and didn’t even say hello to Sarah Asshole. For crying out loud, act like adults, ya idiots. And more cuteness abounds when the Southern Blondes give airport staff candy. Aw, how precious is that?

Airport melodrama is such fun.

When they land in Fortaleza, they travel by taxi to some place in Brazil that’s on a Beach where they ride dune buggies to the Detour of the show. Yes I am missing details, but, christ, I don’t want to be writing all night long. One detail I will mention is the obligatory couple (this time the Dating For/Four Years) remarking about how horrible living conditions are and how lucky they are, she says “What opportunities do they have,” and he answers “If they can fix a car they can make it rich” (they had a lot of car trouble, he’s all heart this guy is).

DETOUR: A choice between, Beaching or Docking.

1. Beaching, moving a small boat over the sand by rolling it on logs to launch it in an inlet…

2. Docking, searching through the computer for the serial number in your clue which will lead you to a shipping container where you will find your next clue.

Sigh every team except for one goes for Beaching. Some funny Beaching stuff:

1. The Southern Blondes meant to do the non physical Docking task, but ended up at the Beaching site and do that instead. They finish it and are fairly proud of themselves.

2. A lot of people are annoying when stressed.

3. Frat Boys Beach it because “it’s a guys task” and you know they are just so manly.

4. The divorcees just made me shake my head tonight. They misunderstood part of their clue, so after they dumped the boat in the water they were confused by mention of the container in the clue (for the Docking) so they looked around and even started digging in the sand for it…hehe, man this show is fun.

DETOUR: Docking stuff:

# The Geeks do this, because they are not physical and it has computers, these guys know their computers. They approach it logically and find their container. There are many containers and it looks like a daunting task, but they figure out quickly that the SUD designation on their container means Hamburg Sud. We even get a Star Wars quote about succeeding in their task “do or do not, there is no try,” fuck, you gotta love these guys.

When everyone has finished their task, they take a taxi at the designated taxi stand and move to the next clue, which is some place nearby (still in Brazil).

Fun stuff en route to the next place:

1. Annoying Asshole Couple took off without carefully reading their clue, and are searching aimlessly for taxis as teams pass them by, finally, the Mom and Son team tell them where to go. Hee hee, I love it when idiots make mistakes.

2. The Divorcees learn about their mistake in reading the clue. And when they get out of the taxi, they tell it to go when they are supposed to tell it to wait. Hee hee, they are really on tonight (it gets better).

So this destination is the ROADBLOCK: one member of the team is supposed to look at words painted on a 600 foot long wall and figure out which of the words or phrases is their next destination. Well the Geek doing the task figures out that by writing down everything, he can just go down the list and when he gets to the right one he will get the clue. He tells the Cheated On Spouse (soon to be ex-spouse, perhaps) to do this. Boy will he regret this later (he says in the interview portion that he is a “reflexively honest guy” and his team mate cuffs him). I do like the Geeks, which means they are soon to be toast, sorry!

Everyone more or less figures this out.

The Divorcees realize their mistake and spend a lot of time trying to get a taxi, only to discover that the original one they came in is still sitting there waiting for them. It doesn’t get any better or stupider than that.

I also liked it when the Sporty Boy Sibling told his Sporty Sister, who was yelling out encouragement to him while he did the Roadblock “I’ll ask once and I’ll ask calmly, I don’t need any more shouting.”

And the Stupid Frat Boy, who honestly believed that when the Sporty Boy Sibling told him that he would come back and tell him the answer, that he would…Extra stupidity points there.

It comes down in the end to a race between Cheater/Cheated Upon and the Geeks (who laugh about the foot race between them and an ex football player) to the Pit Stop. Of course the Geeks come in second. Tina (Cheated Upon With Godlike Abilities at Airports) goes on about how this is going to help their relationship. OH GIVE ME A BREAK! And they win all terrain vehicles. And the one Geek (Bill or Mark) says “if coming in first helps put a marriage back together, screw the ATV’s.” Awwww they are sweet, Mr. and Mrs. Ex Football Player, nope, they are jerks. We hates them we does.

The Couple Dating For/Four Years come in last and are eliminated. They had a great time blah blah blah, they saw how others live blah blah blah, he still has his health, his parents, his looks (what the hell?) and Stephanie. Ah Anthony you are such a prize. Yeesh.

But by golly that was a ton of fun. Scenes from next week talk about altitude sickness, maybe they go to Peru or Bolivia or some such thing.

kimkac wrote this recap and loves this show, but rarely picks the winners as a favourite.